I’m BACK BISHES! So anyway. It’s been a few months but I have lots of content….. so get ready! Photography. If I had to guess, I would say that I have been in front of the camera thousands of times… For real. Since young I have never been shy of cameras. I have done many many photoshoots with many top photographers and I can say with certainty that it is a hard job. I really appreciate you, photographers, for your skills and your art. Photographers are misunderstood I feel, because it’s hard to see the work that goes into everything. Much like graphic designers, or even my job as an online coach, our jobs are very behind the scenes. Photographers take pictures for say one hour, but spend 10 hours on those photos editing. You dont see that. So, I can relate, when people don’t understand your profession. People cancelling, or asking for TFP -free photos- (Which is fine if you’re a beginner photographer or looking for a particular look for your portfolio and dont mind doing it, but most people who are very busy wont have the time) People don’t see the hours you spend on your computer or your phone, emailing back and forth sorting out a shoot, sorting make up artists and venues and everything. It takes ages and now with everyone acting like photographers because of cell phones and filters, it definitely has become harder I feel for photographers since it’s unappreciated a little bit. A good photographer is an artist in every sense of the word. You can’t fake creativity and you cant just “buy” or “practice getting” an eye for art or photography, you either have it or you don’t. Ten people could photograph the same model, the same flower or the same chair and it will come out ten different ways. And that alone is what really fascinates me about it all. So, after being in front of the lens for so long, I think im going to work on some things behind the lens. By no means am I saying I want to be a photographer, but I have such an appreciation for it that I want to learn more about it. A hobby, if you will. I’m excited to share more about that!
I saw this on Facebook the other day and it has been ringing in my head ever since. Nothing much else to say about it so I will just leave it here.
“I will never be a well behaved woman.
I would rather pass my days lying in the middle of dirt roads, staring at the full moon with a bottle of summer red in my palms.
I would rather have kids when it suits me, not when society expects or throws shoulds.
I would rather live in a hammock on a beach for six months, and write like my soul means it.
I would rather be horribly broke at times, than married to a job because a mortgage payment has my ass on a hook.
I would rather own moments, than investments.
I would rather eat alone, than sit with women who bore me at ‘Wives’ Night.”
I would rather swim naked with bioluminescence, have it fall like fireflies from my hair, my breasts, my back.
I would rather do handstands naked in the moonlight when no one’s watching than pick bridesmaid dresses.
I would rather drink seven year old rum from a sandy bottle, smell of smoke and ash than sit in church.
I would rather learn from life than rack up debt, in a desk.
I would rather drink the ocean, again and again—celebrate being madly alive.
I would rather my love be defined by love itself, and nothing more or less.
I don’t need a ring on my finger to prove that I am in love.
I would rather take the chicken bus, than spend useless money in safe gated communities. Sit beside a goat, listen to raggaeton and eat green mango with sugar in a plastic bag sold from the woman who harasses the bus each time it stops.
I do not need a degree to prove that I am intelligent.
I do not need to own a piece of earth with some wood on top of it—to feel successful. No one truly owns the land, anyway—we just think we do.
My savings account has diddly to do with my richness.
I would rather sprawl my single ass out like a lioness each morning and enjoy each corner of my empty bed.
I will take a job I love and freedom over a pension, any day.
I will not work and work and work to live when my body is old and I am tired.
Stocks are for people who get boners from money.
Not everyone should have kids, and my eggs aren’t expiring.
I will not drink the societal Kool-Aid on a bus, nor will I drink it on a train.
Not on a plane, with a goat, in the rain, in the dark, in a tree, with a fox, in a box!
I will not jump through societies’ hoops and red tape, the treasure hunt in the rat race we chase.
If we must have milestones—mine will be measured by how much joy I have collected at the end of each day and how often in this life I have truly, deeply, opened.
Seek, see, love, do.”
by: Janne Robinson
It seems the industry drastically changed.
I remember when I started, the women around me were incredibly kind and inspiring.
Chady Dunmore, Claire Rae, and my local friends like Tannis Miller etc, A bunch of women who spoke to me when I reached out, became friends, and they inspire me to this day. So kind, cool, so amazing. True definitions of just chill amazing people- who realized that we are just fitness people working towards the same goal- inspiring others.
When I speak to athletes now it’s all about putting down other people… How many likes or followers do you have. Sponsorships (aka product in exchange for selling your soul with provocative photos to promote their product) …
I saw a guy I met a few years ago at an expo and he was so incredibly kind that I still remember vividly, thinking how nice he was. He was in South Africa recently and I saw him.. He was so cocky,rude and pretentious. I was so disappointed. This is one example of hundreds. What the hell happened to you guys. Seriously how do even have the audacity to think what you’re doing makes you famous. Insta famous isn’t a thing. People don’t pay you, you pose for hundreds of filtered/severely edited photos and people ‘like’ them. You exercise and eat healthy. Why should I admire you when you aren’t even a nice person? Because you have a nice body and sponsors and rip off other people’s diet plans and sell them as your own? Lol. No.
There are some good fitness models out there still don’t get me Wrong but the good ones are few and far between.
I just don’t feel like it’s the same anymore. It’s just so degrading. I follow fitness pages that are supposed to be motivating but all I see are ass implants and giant close ups of butts covered in “sweat” aka glycerine and water sprayed on your butt to look like sweat.
So you eat healthy. Ok cool. I’m not going to treat you like an astronaut though.
The actual term fitness model has lost all meaning.
Its about wanting attention and being extremely narcissistic and selling yourself. Its about chicken and broccoli and “gains”…
I did that already. I did that for eight+ long years. I missed birthdays. I didn’t do festivals. I was busy. I missed weddings. I did it already bro.
When I wake up my first thought isn’t food anymore or to do morning cardio. It’s usually work and sometimes food.
I don’t have dreams about food (as often) I dream about Armin Van Buuren coming to South Africa again and then how he gives me free tickets to his show and we hang out.
I feel responsible for more chicken deaths than KFC.
I ate fish and broccoli FOR BREAKFAsT. A lot.
I hate fish. Forced myself.
I hadn’t had cake in what felt like years.
Then. I learned my body more and was able to eat a bit less crazy.
Then I studied IIFYM more.
Studied sports science. Still am.
I fucking AGED. I don’t know when it happened or who allowed this to happen but I woke up one day at 27 like..
Who the hell let this happen. I was 20 and then I blinked. And just like that my priorities changed. I’m focused on studying and adulting.
I chose a life I enjoy fully. I loved life then but priorities change.
I don’t feel like a fitness model anymore because I’m a fitness expert now. I truly feel I’ve mastered my balance and I’m not actively shooting or competing but I could easily if I wanted to. And I’m going to soon.
Everyone is a fitness model now. I’m focused on being an awesome coach to people all over the world and learning more every day. How many likes or followers or “finding good lighting” and making my friends take pictures of me all day isn’t what I’m about and isn’t what I EVER was about.
So don’t call me a fitness model. That term has lost all meaning and quite frankly respect from me.
Do I regret it? Absolutely not.
Will I do it all again? Like compete?
Hell yeah. More than likely.
But for now… I’m just going to enjoy my training and eating healthy, and that’s that.
What does it mean to be body positive?
Someone said to me that body positivity is basically fat girls loving themselves and justifying their decision to be overweight. And I have also heard that because I have what most girls would consider a “perfect body” that it’s easy for me to be body positive.
Maybe for some. But definitely not for me.
But just because I have a “fit” body means I can’t be a body positive advocate?
Pardon my French but fuck that.
I have cellulite most of the time. In fact for me to lose it I have to train really hard for an extended period of time. And actually I’m quite naturally curvy. My natural shape is an hourglass. But, just because that’s what is in style now the Kim K body doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with body issues. Maybe I wanted to be a tall slim type or something else. YOU Don’t know.
I think every woman should love the body she has and be confident that it’s all considered beautiful. No matter what your body type you too can be a body positive advocate. Just because you’re incredibly muscular or thin and have what society deems a perfect body, you have the right to call yourself beautiful. Don’t be ashamed because you have a gorgeous body. AND…. Don’t be ashamed because you don’t feel like you have a perfect body. There’s no such thing as a perfect body and I think that’s what body positivity is about. There’s no such thing. We’re all beautiful to someone and we should all focus on being beautiful to ourselves. Be proud Of what you put IN or ON your body and take care of yourself.
I think THAT is what we should all aspire to!
I eat healthy most of the time and train at least 5 days a week. I still have cellulite and big thighs but guess what. I’m strong AF! For me to get to a photo shoot weight I will have to diet hard for four weeks. It’s hard and I get cranky but that’s what I’ll have to do. I don’t want to live that way so I don’t. I choose life, happiness and healthiness. It’s not healthy to be in a calorie deficit all the time. Nor do I think it’s healthy to track calories or macros all the time.
Live your life.
Treat your body right, and encourage others to do the same, and to do what’s best for them. Respect other people’s decisions and encourage each other to love themselves.
You don’t have to justify how you choose to live to anyone.
Body positivity crew HOLLA!
Sending positive vibes✌️
🦄I encourage you to create your best life through food, fitness and fun adventures!
Create a life with NO limits. 🚀
Need help❔ I’m here. Andreasmith_0990@icloud.com
Who you spend time with is who you become. And getting yourself in close proximity with people that are positive, people you admire, people who are succeeding, even if you have to work for someone for free, ask them to hang out on weekends, go for coffee and bounce ideas off of them, it is important to just get IN the environment and INVOLVED with people who are successful or people you admire.
Success to you may be different to others. I admire some women in my life because they are the most incredible mothers and wives, and that is something I admire. When I am at that place in my life, great mothers and nurturers are whom I will seek solace and advice from. Find these people you admire, and get involved! Speak to them on Facebook, let them KNOW that they inspire you or motivate you. Their habits, their outlook on life, it will alI rub off on you… you will begin to think like they think and you will start see where the awesome opportunities for positive change are in your own life are.
You don’t like your friends and you don’t think they are your TRUE friends…why are they still in your life? Your managers? Boss? Co-workers? Don’t like them either? Well then, do you really expect your life and career to be any different from doing the same thing and being in the same situations? You keep messing with boring, unmotivated, negative, evil, and dysfunctional people and expecting positive results. We all know the definition of insanity, don’t we? Doing the same thing the same way repeatedly and expecting different results…? Well.
We have been raised in a generation of people who come up with EVERY EXCUSE in the book for EVERY single thing that is going wrong in their life. Excuses, to be honest, only sound legit or valid to the person making them up.
For me, life is a continuous, learning journey full of highs, lows and in-betweens. I often find myself asking “Who am I becoming?” When we spend large amounts of time with people (or things, or ideas), we should wonder about who we are becoming in this process. For me, it’s important to grow, to learn, to be kind, to be more compassionate. My fitness/health, my career, my clients, my personal relationships, and my spiritual relationship with God, are what is most important to me. It is necessary to find people who think the same way YOU do.
Look around the room when you are out on weekends with your friends, or who you hang out with the most. With who you converse with the most. If you are the smartest one in the room, you are in the WRONG room.
If nothing around you changes, change the things that are AROUND YOU.
Sending positive vibes✌️
🦄I encourage you to create your best life through food, fitness and fun adventures!
Create a life with NO limits. 🚀
Need help❔ I’m here. Andreasmith_0990@icloud.com
SUPER LOVEY DOVEY POST ALERT!
All love-haters, avert your gaze. Please ask siri to beatbox for you, and then carry on with your day.
It’s TWO weeks to valentines day, and I am excited.
Am I doing anything special? Not really. Not big honeymoon planned- we’re actually going to a yoga, surf and Stand Up Paddleboard retreat! no time for hanky panky there!
We weren’t even together last valentines day. So we spent it just like every other day, and skyped in the evening.
Every valentine’s day before that was pretty much the same. It REALLY is another day in the year. Its not special. To me, every day should feel like valentines day. BUT…. its nice to celebrate being in love and having a day dedicated to it. Although really and truly, if you are in a super loving relationship, you won’t feel like you need it. I know i don’t feel like I need it. We show each other in every action that we can and in as many words per day as we can that we love each other, so there really is no need.
This post, is basically how I view relationships (in a nutshell) but please don’t judge me entirely on it, because I feel there are many facets and ways to love someone, and there are many different circumstances. This is just a small snippet.
I personally think there are many loves of your life.
Actually, I think that some the biggest loves you’ll have are your friends. I can think back to some friendships I had in elementary, and high school, and I can honestly say I truly loved those people with EVERY ounce of my being, because you don’t expect to get hurt with friendships. And thats why, when a friend hurts you, it hurts in a different way.
One day, I will share in great great detail how Dan and I met. It’s a long long long story, and actually one that I wrote up for him COMPLETE WITH PHOTOS… for Valentines day last year in 2015 🙂 We had been speaking for just under a year and I thought, you know what, I need to document this. Whatever happens, I need to write down this insane story of ours. And one day when I have had three glasses of wine and I’m blogging, I will definitely do that for you guys!
But for now, I am just going to talk a bit about relationships and some conversations I have had recently.
Relationships, are choices. Life is a long series choices. Duh, right?
but if you treated the person that you are choosing to spend your life with, and THEY are choosing to spend their life with YOU, treat them like such.
Think about the following statement: Of ALL of the guys and girls in the world that you know and out of EVERYONE you have met and gotten to know, THIS one person, this amazing individual (obviously they’re amazing, THEYRE DATING YOU, you fox you!) has agreed to spend AN INDEFINITE amount of time with you. Think about that. You may not be engaged, you may not even be talking about forever, but they have decided that right now, for this period of your life, however short or long, YOU are who they want to be their partner. THINK ABOUT THAT! Think about how amazing that is, and treat that person as such. Wow, you chose me.
Sometimes, as you do, I would hear people say something like “I love you more and more everyday” on tv or about their partner, and i felt that that was always just a statement you say about someone. Kind of like “I have never had more energy in my life and if I can do it, you can do it” when people talk about losing weight. Its like “THE THING” to say right. hahaha. (I get back to this point later)
I also didn’t think it was possible to love my partner more than I do, and I guess I had never been with someone that made me feel that way. To me, its not so much loving them more and more every day but being more and more sure about how much you love them every day- maybe thats just me. The feeling of being so sure and CHOOSING them every day, is the feeling that makes me feel so happy and in love. every day we do things for each other and every day I’m reminded and reassured that this person loves me as much as I love them.
Do I want to kill him some moments in the day? yes. Sometimes that feeling lasts a good 7 hours. But they are few and far between. I remember being in relationships that really didn’t feel like that. Constant fighting. And as much as you want to justify the fighting, there really isn’t a good reason. Are there bad periods? yes. But those are circumstantial. Do you have kids? have you been together for years? if so, a few bad months is probably normal. But you don’t have kids, its only been a short amount of time, you don’t share finances, what are you fighting about every day? sorry but it WONT WORK.
I think people need to understand also, that nobody is perfect. (haha DRE YOURE AN IDIOT THAT IS OBVIOUS)
oh really is it? When we’re raised in a generation that believes EVERYONE is special, YOU deserve the best, YOU ARE the best, how can you not think you deserve the best?
Look, yes you do deserve the best. You are perfect in your own way. But I have news for you… there are some serious shitty sides to you. There are some really serious shitty sides to me. Im super messy and I actually have sever ADHD so when you talk to me, it looks like I won’t be paying attention but I am. And there are more shitty sides to me, but I should probably talk to my therapist about those first…
Anyways. My point is, I think people need to pick and choose people who’s demons play well with theirs. And, you need to be fairly certain that you have worked on YOUR issues first before you start pointing out everyone else’s. Work on yourself FIRST!
Dan is patient, and I need that. I am calm in crisis’ and emergency situations, and Dan needs that.
Everyone has shit. If YOUR person’s “SHIT” is that they have communication issues, and you can’t handle that, then you need to know that and pick up on that. Try to work on it. If you think it can’t be fixed, leave. If you’re not expressing how you feel to your partner after several months of being together, it probably won’t work. Boundaries and communication has to be set early on, in my opinion.
Back to the demons— If your person is a wealthy powerful person and thats what you want, but they aren’t the most loyal, then you need to evaluate if thats what you want. A lot of women put up with that and turn a blind eye (I would not. But I know a lot of people who do, AND THATS FINE! )
Im not saying you should put up with things you don’t want, but I also think there needs to be a little bit of a “less” expectation than what people are expecting … MAYBE THATS JUST ME, but when I sincerely look at my friends and my guy friends, and even (especially) myself, I’m like, I would totally not date you. Your demons just do not play well with mine, and I think we would kill each other.
Nobody is perfect. NOBODY. Once you get to know and love someone (hence why I think dating is so important) you can evaluate after a while what is important to you, and what isn’t. It took me a lot of failed relationships to learn
A) what I needed to improve about myself, but
B) what I will never put up with in a partner.
To me, a perfect relationship is two perfectly imperfect people coming together. You have to be two WHOLE people …WHOLE. Like, Dan is my world, but he’s not MY ENTIRE WORLD. You feel? I WANT him in my life, I don’t NEED him. Thats the difference. Like, I WANT pizza, I don’t need pizza. But hot damn, do I love pizza A LOT.
Like, a lot. And I love him a LOT more than pizza!
Also, can I just rant for a second? Whats with this whole thing about people posting their gifts/actions from their partners on instagram. Why? Can I ask why? like, all the time? I can understand he bought you a car or something crazy, you post that shit girl. Thats awesome. But every time he gives you flowers? Is he really not giving you anything to the point you have to post every time he does something nice? like, have you never received flowers before? does he literally only buy you flowers three times a year? are you posting that for your followers, or for yourself?
Oh he did something cute for you this morning? wow that must really not happen often. That should happen OFTEN.
I see people post EVERY single time their partner does something cute or amazing. Do I love it? actually, I do, yes. But I feel theres always an ulterior motive or something not right with that. Why? are you posting this for me or for validation for yourself? or are you trying to rub it in someones face? IF I posted every time me and my partner did something cute for each other I would have exactly 2 followers. My mom and my best friend. And actually I think my mom would unfollow me so, I would maybe have 1 follower. .I would be posting minimum 3 times a day about how he did this or that, how I did this, etc.
Be in love and post what you feel is cute and amazing, but if you’re posting ALL THE TIME, like too much, maybe think about the motive for that. Ask your real blunt friends if you’re posting too much. If so, maybe identify the reason for that, and address that. I know from experience there are many reasons. Insecurities, you want everyone to know you’re still together, possibly just missing them, wanting everyone to know how great you are…. If your relationship revolves around what other people think thats not a good thing. MOTIVE, people. Get to the root of the issue. Why are you looking for validation for your relationship on social media all the time? Figure that one out. I think posting your partner is great and makes them feel loved, but theres a line folks.
I don’t need flowers (Although I like them) but I have received many big expensive gifts before, without love. Actions without sentiment and feelings are empty. People say actions are louder than words, but I think you need both. Actions and words equals no doubts. No fears.
But, anyway. in the end, its not so much that I love him more and more every day, even though it feels that way. It’s me learning something new about him, appreciating him more, appreciating something he does, and CHOOSING to love him every day. Its a decision I make with every action, every fight I avoid, every boundary I have set, and every little thing I do for him. And, I say this as a major believer in equal rights, I do this because I get so much more in return. True love to me, is loving someone full heartedly and KNOWING that they feel the same back. It’s not 50/50, its 100/100. Theres nothing but kindness, and happiness. I feel safe. Theres no doubt. Theres just love.
I wish you and yours a very happy Valentines Day, and if you haven’t found your love yet, YOU WILL! For now, CELEBRATE with your friends!
Work on yourself and becoming your BEST self, and you absolutely will find someone as amazing as you undoubtedly are!
Keep an eye out for our FITCOUPLE program, coming out in the next few days! 😉
A bit about the fit couple program:
One of the best things about being in a great relationship is being with someone who pushes you to being a better YOU! This program is great for any couple wanting to get fit TOGETHER! FIT COUPLE GOALS! Includes: -6 weeks of workouts, three different phases (so workouts change every two weeks) that you can do with your partner. (Gym workouts, or at home workouts) -6 weeks of nutrition with a separate nutrition program for males and females-SIMILAR ingredients so that you can meal prep together! -Recipes and different nutrition tips -Cardio recommendations -Supplementation recommendations Recommended for women and men wanting to lose body fat and gain lean muscle mass, of average (Normal/Overweight) height and weight.
Note: I do not determine what you consider to be average! I personally think this program would be suitable to any woman or man who is not extremely under or overweight for their height! If you are I suggest a custom program. If you are unsure of where you would fit on the scale, check/look up a BMI scale online where you are on the BMI scale. This program would be fine for anyone between Normal weight and Overweight on the BMI categories.
Théberge bikinis are the best, I’m not going to dance around it the absolute moral and point of this post is how incredible this talented artist is, how much she’s influenced me on a professional and personal level, and how much she inspires me. She’s an entrepreneur, artist, mom, designer, and incredible friend.
Personally, I have lost count of how many bikinis that I have gotten from her, but I have loved every single one. If I have an idea or design that won’t work for my look/body she’ll tell me. If it’s ugly or not the right vibe for me, she’ll tell me. And I appreciate that a lot. Honesty is everything!
There’s a difference between a regular looking suit and a piece of art.
There’s a difference between your typical blinged out bikini suit, and a decorated Théberge suit full of Swarovski crystals. There’s nothing wrong with the other suits but when I’ve spent thousands of hours, tears AND dollars to get my posing routine and body to get it looking a certain way for this important day, I want my suit on point as well. I go big or I go home! If the suit isn’t 100% perfect, she won’t send it out on stage. She won’t put her name on something that isn’t 100% amazing. Thats the quality that I want in my suits!
Even before she started with her clothing line, I told her 8 years ago that when I get married, she’s making my wedding dress. We’ve already talked about it as I’m sure she already knows what I want before I will even know what I want! She just is that great at reading people. She’s so enthusiastic about every bikini and piece that she has hand made for me, it makes the experience that much better. And that’s just working with her. Getting to know her is a different kind of privilege and quite frankly, has been a blessing!
Sometimes when I’m around parents and children, especially lately, it kind of scares me out of the idea of kids because all I really hear is how your life as you know it is over as soon as you have kids. I’ve always wanted to do an insane amount of crazy things with my life & also with my partner and I just get scared at the idea that life stops when you have kids. All your big dreams, done. That’s just what you hear you know. Everyone’s lives just become focused on the children. You either pick the big career the big titles the big jobs, Orrrrrrrrr the kids. Which is fair I mean that’s what you wanna do then mad respect to you. Of course this isn’t the case for everyone, I am well aware!! But I can imagine it’s difficult to balance that!
Tanya is the first person that I’ve met with a baby and a teenager.. and she is absolutely killing it. She’s dominating life. Accomplishing huge goals, creating art, and is such an amazing mom. And it’s different because I’ve known Tanya for years, I understand her art I’ve seen her grow. Becoming a designer from Canada seemed impossible but I always knew she would do it. Undoubtedly. I’ve been a loyal fan since day 1. There are many many moms out there accomplishing their dreams don’t get me wrong but Tanya is the first one I got to know personally and witness over a period of 8 years. She’s the first person to ever make me feel like I could still live all of my dreams and have a family too.
Tanya is not just talented but smart, intuitive, empathetic, but also tough when I need it. I’m fired up and motivated every time we speak, and that’s a gift to have and a rare quality so I feel blessed to know her!
If you haven’t, you need to check out her work. These bikinis are not just for competitions. I have rocked these suits for photo shoots, in Vegas, and just for an awesome beach bikini.
Her instagram is @Thebergebikini, and you NEED to check her out!
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Its easy for us to say “this is whats wrong, this is what happened and its not my fault”
For me, if something is going wrong, i think about what I can do to change in my life or what i am doing wrong. How am I contributing to this? Clearly, something isn’t working.
YOU are responsible for the position you’re in.
Obstacles always come up. People stab you in the back, things happen, money comes and goes, friends come and go, partners come and go, and you’re going to be disappointed many times in our life. And if YOU handle these negative situations poorly, unfortunately thats nobody fault but your own.
I see people going from trainer to trainer time and time again, and blaming everyone and everything for everything going wrong in their life.
What have you done to bring you to this point? You skipped your workouts, altered your meal plan, and maybe only committed say 60% to the plan. Then, unfortunately, you’re only going to see 60% results.
Same goes for school, work, relationships, everything.
YOU chose to not study. You chose to not save your money and you chose to spend it, and now you’re in a poor position money wise. You chose to be late and call in sick for work, your actions spoke volumes.
It’s up to YOU to make change.
As a coach, I see and hear this every day. I do it in my own life sometimes.
As a coach, my job is to motivate, to inspire, and to make YOU feel that you CAN and you WILL and you MUST do what it takes to change. Here are your TOOLS, they are your two hands and your mind. And you do what you gotta do to get to the goals you want to ACCOMPLISH!
I do not chase, I do not hunt you down.
And yet I still get messages daily from clients and former clients thanking me for giving them the TOOLS to change THEIR own lives. And I still get APOLOGIES from people who realize that they were blaming myself and others for not accomplishing the goals that in the end only you and yourself only are responsible for changing.
Claim responsibility, and stop blaming others for your shit!
You have to press a little deeper, push a little harder, don’t give up.
MYSELF, My GRGS And my team at AMBITION…. are ALWAYS here for you, no matter what you’re going through we are here. but you need to realize that YOU and YOU ONLY are in charge of the change you make…. or don’t make.
I encourage you to create your best life through food, fitness and fun adventures!
Let’s chat. Andreasmith_0990@icloud.com
I don’t know why this evoked such a strong emotion from me but it did.
This has been circling the internet. And I just have a lot to say about it. But first, I asked other people how they feel. So these are my replies, my opinions, and my general feelings on the whole thing.
I feel completely split down the middle…. er, rather, in 100 different directions. Its taken me a while to realize how I feel or to understand my actual opinion and its also taken me a while to read all of the comments from other people in regards to this issue so this is the best way I can explain it.
A few disclaimers:
#1) I am not and have never been obese, but I have been very overweight. (See exhibit A)
#2) I do not have children. I am an auntie, but like, very part time. So all in all, I am not a parent and I don’t even have a dog, so I am not responsible for another person or thing in any way really. So this is coming from a very unfair point of view because I can’t imagine what its like.
Here’s a few of my points. They vary completely, to either agree or disagree with this photo above, and are basically some replies to some comments I’ve seen and some ramblings. In no particular order.
– I think depriving your children completely of sugar and other processed foods is just as negative long term as being a “too strict” and over bearing parent. Depriving is a strong word as I don’t think anyone NEEDS “bad” foods, but if you make it “forbidden” and make it have a horrible reputation like drugs, your kid will lie to you and hide it from you and possibly develop a horrible addiction because of the “forbidden fruit” so to speak. I will explain why I feel this way later. I think that kids should know what is out there, know why to choose the healthier options, and that things are fine in moderation. Maybe one day our society will be holistic, but it isn’t yet.
-I don’t know how I feel about the term child abuse, seems a bit harsh, but by definition.. it is true. Think about that term. Child. ABUSE. You are abusing your child in a way that is detrimental to them mentally and/or physically and you are intentionally hurting your child. Its described as this: “Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. There are many forms of child maltreatment, including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, exploitation, and emotional abuse.” I TRULY don’t think that most of these parents are INTENTIONALLY causing injury or death or emotional harm. But the fact of the matter is, that is the outcome for a lot of overweight people… but not ALWAYS. Look at all of the examples that don’t result in death or problems. There are a lot of overweight people who live long, healthy lives. A lot of them. But there are also a lot who have major issues-diabetes, heart attacks, etc. …and then there are actual health issues that a healthy diet couldn’t prevent anyways. Sometimes there is a thyroid issue. And then… theres the problem of actual lack of knowledge. Parents sometimes really don’t know that what they are doing could cause a lot of problems for the future. I go more into this point in my next paragraph. But as much as I don’t like the term used in this situation, it does make sense from a literal point of view. There are a lot of risks when you fail to act as a parent to teach the child proper nutrition…
-Like I said, I don’t think its intentional. My reason- I was a fat pre-teen. Not child, pre-teen. AS soon as I hit puberty I couldn’t stop eating. Was it a mental thing? I think so. I personally think most eating disorders (that being all of them, binge eating, severely over-eating, orthorexia, bulimia and anorexia) are mental disorders, or stem from a mental disorder. (I also consider body dysmorphia a disorder and a lot of people have that. It can result in a form of eating disorder too. Can and usually does)
Anyway. Everything I mentioned- these are all some sort of mental issue that my mom couldn’t help. It was out of her scope of practice. She is trained as an engineer and teacher…. NOT a psychologist. She couldn’t understand why I would cry daily about being fat but then eat a package of bacon with breakfast. Its a problem that only people with these types of issues understand. My mom has never had a weight problem, she’s always watched what she eats and actually really did feed us very healthily growing up. Our treat was Subway, but she didn’t ORDER our food for us. We chose what we wanted. As soon as my food was 100% my choice, I chose WRONG. My slim sister always had a 6 inch veggie sub with lots of veggies, I always wanted a turkey or chicken foot long with extra cheese extra mayo extra bacon. Its just the way some people are wired. I am addicted to fatty salty things and my sister like sweets. There are some things that parents can’t control and ME is one of them haha.
-I don’t think saying “They will be bullied as they get older” is a valid reason to teach your child to eat healthy. –this was one comment I saw a lot on this post and that a lot of parents used as an argument. Like “these poor kids are going to be bullied” ok fair, and true … but.
To me, its the same as telling a child that they shouldn’t wear glasses or like comic books. Why? because they’re going to be made fun of for “not being cool” when they’re older? they’re going to be made fun of? yeah probably but is that really a major reason to teach them to be healthy? how about we focus on teaching our kids to not bully or make fun of other kids. Thats another issue though. I think bullying is something that happens but to make that one of the main points against or FOR this photo. I actually remember my mom saying the same thing to me (out of love…purely out of love and concern I know this full heartedly and I think I would probably do the same thing as a convincing technique to hopefully convince my child to stop stuffing their face) but I really think in retrospect that it made me put far too much emphasis on what other people say or think about me, resulting in things like oh I don’t know fitness modelling. And it actually took me years to stop caring what other people say about my physical appearance…. which was a really hard lesson for me. I remember buying exercise books and reading magazines about health and food since I was 13 years old. I was bullied too obviously, I went to an all girls school … and I was bullied by my siblings too (thats what theyre there for and there was four of us, we were dicks to each other and I was too I was a BITCH but thats a blog for another day) but really, it was horribly hurtful.. and it was shitty and yes it was awful BUT… thats going to follow you through life. Its just a part of life and I think the more important lesson is… learning to have a tough skin. Tough skin is so important, and preventing kids from everything especially being bullied is not only impossible but I think being protected and babied your whole life is worse…way way worse. Let them say stuff. Fuck the bullies, man. Fuck em. Fuck their opinion! If they don’t bully you for your weight they’ll bully you about something else. I come from a family of four, and each of us were bullied for different things. Believe me, kids are assholes, they’ll find something to bully you about. IF you’re going to teach your kid to be healthy it better be NOT based solely on physical appearance, IN MY OPINION, because then you’re just teaching them that eating healthy is basically mainly for physical appearance, which is a huge huge problem and misconception and I’m tired of hearing that. A lot of thin people are unhealthy and have major health issues and heart problems etc. Thats why men die on average ten years younger than women, because they don’t hold as much weight as we do, we have to eat healthier to look a certain way when guys don’t. They can eat a lot of crap and still not be overweight. But thats NOT the only reason to eat healthy and I think thats the main problem. Let’s focus on being HEALTHY ok. If your doctor says you’re not overweight or that you’re cool and happy and your blood work is fine and your cholesterol is A-OK then Ok cool!
-Can we just not point the fingers at the parents in all of the situations? this is a very subjective situation. You can’t point the fingers at all parents and blame them! I have sympathy towards the parents in situations with overweight kids. How are you going to tell your kid to stop eating? I used to have horrible fights with my mom. She would buy donuts and I have skinny siblings, and they could eat 3-4 donuts, but Andrea can’t. Andrea you can only have one. So guess what I did? went and bought my own damn donuts! I would go to my friends houses and eat whatever I wanted. “Treats” and “bad foods” are like, my thing. They are my reward system, how I celebrate, and how I make myself feel better. And I hate that I have that mental attachment to food. Like… as you maybe can tell, my entire life is about helping other people NOT feel that way, and LEARN how to be healthy, so yes I really do hate that I have that mental attachment to food obviously. YES, you need to teach your kids the difference between right and wrong but think about this- the overweight children you see, are usually with overweight parents. That was not my case. I have literally an amazing family that are all in shape. My sister has the perfect body still to this day, my brothers are all great and eat Mcdonalds every day, I just can’t. I can’t I don’t have the genetics, never have, and I come from the same parents. It’s just the way my body processes things. Ive accepted that. But it would have been a big mistake to judge my parents when they really didn’t ‘teach’ me anything, they just couldn’t really control me when I was 13 and started having these mental addictions to food and was over eating like crazy. What are they supposed to do ? slap it out of my hand? What about the kids with autism or other things that cause weight gain.
Anyways. Its different if the parents are also overweight. I guarantee you these parents were taught the same things when they were children, family traditions, comforts in food, the same mental disorder/addiction to certain foods, the same PHYSICAL addiction to sugar and fats, and you can’t teach something you don’t know. Im sure these parents know better but a 40 year addiction to something is hard ESPECIALLY when you were never taught the importance of a good diet. Growing up in say the southern US states.. that food is just not really good for you. Grits and gravy and fried bread. Whereas in Portugal and Mediterranean countries (my mom is from Portugal) we grew up on chicken, potatoes, rice, salad. On the menus there, theres ALWAYS a big salads section with a bunch of chicken and fish, things like that. In the US there wasn’t really that option for a while. Ive seen it in the Indian culture as well. That food is so oily, you really don’t have healthy options at indian restaurants. Sorry but you don’t. You can’t understand what its like growing up in a situation like that if you didn’t. You don’t understand it. Its the same as smokers in my opinion. They know its wrong. They can feel the negative effects, they have heard the studies,they have a vague understanding that the food they’re eating is bad….. but its just what they do and they feel they can’t stop and thats THAT really.
-MONEY. A lot of people can’t afford the type of care they need for trying to get out of an addiction like that. I am a personal trainer and health coach and I know how expensive it is. Believe me I am aware. I have had to pay thousands of dollars (THOUSANDS…..) for my education… but BEFORE that, just paying a personal trainer to teach me everything I learned before doing this, was also THOUSANDS. To learn a new sport costs a couple thousand dollars, ITS THE SAME THING as trying to gain knowledge in a completely new subject. Want to learn how to play guitar? guess what, $40 a lesson. Maybe in six months you’ll learn how to play. Health, fitness, personal training, sports nutrition, nutrition,===all university courses. So you don’t think its going to take you a few years to really learn everything YOURSELF? yes it is. Its expensive. And not only do some people not have the money but since they truly don’t understand the value or the worth of learning something like this, plus being majorly in denial, its just not going to happen. And who suffers? the kids. The generations to come. That’s who suffers.
-This is just a small side note but I think the fact this poor girl is the poster child for this subject… breaks my heart. This poor girl! This is bullying straight up. She has feelings too. She’s going to see this one day. She doesn’t know whats happening? She doesn’t know whats going on or what she did wrong? just sad. AGAIn we are putting the emphasis on physical APPEARANCE rather than her health.
-FINALLY, my opinion ON THE WHOLE 🙂
From a health professional point of view, on the whole I absolutely think that this is true. I ask for a full health history when doing a custom fitness program and I actually see a big correlation between very overweight clients and the nutrition when they were young. I ask what they ate mainly as children, and 9 times out of 10 the overweight clients I have ate really high sugar, high processed high fat food. It’s not rocket science, it makes sense. I think one of the roles of a parent is to teach your kid the difference between good and bad, but I think this issue stems further than that as I’ve said. Let’s teach the kids in schools and lets teach the parents some things, like what proper portions are, how to avoid eating disorders and where to go if you have one, the importance of treating your mental health firstly. Lets teach our own children how to eat healthy and the health benefits. Lets teach them what foods are great to eat and what to maybe avoid, teach them the IMPORTANCE of health not just appearance, and please lets have some sympathy to this issue! Lets not try to fix this by making fun of people for their weight. And lets make MENTAL / PHYSICAL HEALTH AND FITNESS less expensive, more accessible, and lets stop talking about being overweight as if its the most horrible disgusting thing you could be. Let’s not circulate this image anymore, let’s change the girl to a photo of something like a leg being cut off because of type 2 diabetes (27 million people in the US have it), that image makes more sense, not an overweight young girl.
Dre signing off !
I encourage you to create your best life through food, fitness and fun adventures!
Let’s chat. Andreasmith_0990@icloud.com
In a word, yes. It’s a long and constant debate and sometimes I even change my mind. I find myself saying “MEN ARE ALL THE SAME” (and sometimes I really feel like I’m right!) but do people change? Like, if you are a naturally aggressive person and have been since birth, can you change? In my opinion, absolutely. It starts with the desire to change. And, the acknowledgment about the thing you WANT to change.
If someone says that they ” know ” me and they haven’t spent time with me in the last few years, they don’t know me.
I’m constantly changing and bettering myself (or at least trying to!)
If you knew me a few years ago,
You knew a different person.
You don’t know me.
Dre signing off !
I encourage you to create your best life through food, fitness and fun adventures!
Let’s chat. Andreasmith_0990@icloud.com