It seems the industry drastically changed.  

Screen Shot 2016-02-10 at 3.41.05 PM

I remember when I started, the women around me were incredibly kind and inspiring.
Chady Dunmore, Claire Rae, and my local friends like Tannis Miller etc, A bunch of women who spoke to me when I reached out, became friends, and they inspire me to this day. So kind, cool, so amazing. True definitions of just chill amazing people- who realized that we are just fitness people working towards the same goal- inspiring others.
When I speak to athletes now it’s all about putting down other people… How many likes or followers do you have. Sponsorships (aka product in exchange for selling your soul with provocative photos to promote their product) …
I saw a guy I met a few years ago at an expo and he was so incredibly kind that I still remember vividly, thinking how nice he was. He was in South Africa recently and I saw him.. He was so cocky,rude and pretentious. I was so disappointed. This is one example of hundreds. What the hell happened to you guys. Seriously how do even have the audacity to think what you’re doing makes you famous. Insta famous isn’t a thing. People don’t pay you, you pose for hundreds of filtered/severely edited photos and people ‘like’ them. You exercise and eat healthy. Why should I admire you when you aren’t even a nice person? Because you have a nice body and sponsors and rip off other people’s diet plans and sell them as your own? Lol. No.
There are some good fitness models out there still don’t get me Wrong but the good ones are few and far between.
I just don’t feel like it’s the same anymore. It’s just so degrading. I follow fitness pages that are supposed to be motivating but all I see are ass implants and giant close ups of butts covered in “sweat” aka glycerine and water sprayed on your butt to look like sweat.
So you eat healthy. Ok cool. I’m not going to treat you like an astronaut though.
The actual term fitness model has lost all meaning.
Its about wanting attention and being extremely narcissistic and selling yourself. Its about chicken and broccoli and “gains”…
I did that already. I did that for eight+  long years. I missed birthdays. I didn’t do festivals. I was busy. I missed weddings. I did it already bro.
When I wake up my first thought isn’t food anymore or to do morning cardio. It’s usually work and sometimes food.
 I don’t have dreams about food (as often) I dream about Armin Van Buuren coming to South Africa again and then how he gives me free tickets to his show and we hang out.
I feel responsible for more chicken deaths than KFC.
I ate fish and broccoli FOR BREAKFAsT. A lot.
I hate fish. Forced myself.
I hadn’t had cake in what felt like years.
Then. I learned my body more and was able to eat a bit less crazy.
Then I studied IIFYM more.
Studied sports science. Still am.
I fucking AGED. I don’t know when it happened or who allowed this to happen but I woke up one day at 27 like..
Who the hell let this happen. I was 20 and then I blinked.  And just like that my priorities changed.  I’m focused on studying and adulting.
I chose a life I enjoy fully. I loved life then but priorities change.
 I don’t feel like a fitness model anymore because I’m a fitness expert now. I truly feel I’ve mastered my balance and I’m not actively shooting or competing but I could easily if I wanted to. And I’m going to soon.
Everyone is a fitness model now. I’m focused on being an awesome coach to people all over the world and learning more every day. How many likes or followers or “finding good lighting” and making my friends take pictures of me all day isn’t what I’m about and isn’t what I EVER was about.
So don’t call me a fitness model. That term has lost all meaning and quite frankly respect from me.
Do I regret it? Absolutely not.
Will I do it all again? Like compete?
Hell yeah. More than likely.
But for now… I’m just going to enjoy my training and eating healthy, and that’s that.